Warning notes on string cheese, and other atrocities.

(Yes, seriously.) Today on my Polly-O skim-cheese string cheese (What? I like string cheese.) I read: “Safety First! Open with hands, not teeth.”

Only in America. What kid in the Midwest yanked his baby tooth out trying get his string cheese open? Can I laugh at him, or would that be mean? And why must I put up with a cheese safety message because of it?

Friendster. Is it big cyber-party fun for everyone, or is it an international version of the seventh-grade lunch table that subsists on its cliquey grandeur? I can’t tell for certain.

Open marriages. In the Friendster profiles, it’s an option. Who in this world really has one of them? Didn’t they have their heyday one summer in the 70’s and then everyone realized it was a hellaciously bad idea?

Meeting people online But Friendster does offer you some interesting people: my own network includes Little Debbie, Nomi Malone, Paris Hilton, and Corey Feldman. I wonder if perhaps people are not taking Friendster seriously.