YWTT: Milk, Elmo and Mommy: The Complex Life of an 18-Month-Old
This prompt is from You Write the Title III but I’m afraid I don’t remember the author.
I promised I’d write to every title I got, but I frankly don’t have anything on this, so I’m setting myself a five-minute timer and just going stream-of-consciousness.
I suppose, when you’re 18 months old, mommy is pretty much the most important thing in life. You’ve got solid food so while milk is still pretty awesome, it’s not all there is anymore. And Elmo – well, Elmo is a bit abrasive at the best of times, but when you’re 18 months old, you really shouldn’t be watching too much TV anyway, so God willing, you don’t really know much about Elmo.
At this point you can walk and talk and are pretty fun to be around. Your parents are probably getting crap from well-meaning people trying to make conversation about when they’re going to give you a sibling. Speaking of parents and crap, they may be trying to toilet-train you already. So yes, I suppose life is fairly complex when you’re 18 months old.
It is weird to think about how the first few years of your life are absolutely gone from your memory, though. You’re helpless and wobbly and prone to dumping bodily fluids at a moment’s notice; people stare at you; you say inappropriate things; and it all happened without any of it staying in our memories. It’s like we all begin life blackout drunk until we’re about three or four. Kind of peculiar, if you think about it.
…And my five minutes is up.
Also in the You Write the Title III series:
- The Audacity of Mustaches
- Why Hot Women Should Date Jeff Hoyak
- If I Were a Billionaire
- If I Had My Very Own Unicorn
- The Tao of Henry