Sarah Morgan

Healthcare Geek.
Professional Communicator.

mistaken identity Personal

Mistaken Identity: Episodes 973-1084

This is a backlog of Mistaken Identity emails stretching back to September! In honor of spring cleaning, here’s the biggest-ever batch of misdirected mail. Note that we’ve blown by 1,000 AND CAN I JUST SAY THAT THAT IS A LOT OF WRONG EMAILS. And note especially the worst name for an elementary school, two kinds of cryptic “sessions,” and an extremely enthused bachelorette organizer. 

* * * * * * *

From: Beth
Subject: What a party!

Dear Sarah

Your halo shineth brightly !

What a wonderful time you gave us all yesterday ! I felt very privileged to be included in your dear mothers selected group. We had so much fun and lots of laughs, which proves that we ‘oldies’ still know how to have a good time. The wig session was hilarious and I really look forward to getting some of those photos………unfortunately I am not on Facebook

Sarah that was a memorable meal that you gave us. You obviously went to a great deal of trouble and as you saw, we all really enjoyed and appreciated your beautifully presented food.
It was a work of art and so tasty. Compliments to you.

Your beautiful home lends itself to entertaining…….there are so many lovely features……I was fascinated and I love the open plan of your entire living area.
Please thank Hamish and Josephine for their help as well.

Thank you for the very happy time we spent with you yesterday


I need a friend named Hamish. Also, I want to know more about “the wig session.”

* * * * * * *
Subject: Article for Jack

I can’t imagine he missed this, but just in case —

Jack sounds like a curious individual.

* * * * * * *

From: Charles
To: Other Me, Carey, BJ
Subject: Re: social sec #’s

girls — in order to fill out some beneficiary forms, i need your soc sec #’s.  thanks,  love,  dad

* * * * * *
Subject: sharing the ride to Dhamma Dipa centre

Hello Sarah,

It’s Jasmine here and I got your e-mail from the centre.
Thanks for offering the ride:)
I will be around north London–Turnpike Lane( the Tube station) but also can reach any Tube station whichever is easier for you to catch up. At the moment, I am in Italy but my phone should work on 10th of Feb. Feel free to contact me on xxxxxxxxxxx as well.

Please let me know what you think when and where to meet up:)
Thanks again!


* * * * * *

From: Chris in Montana
Subject: SCORE Mentoring

Sarah – thanks for contacting SCORE regarding start-up assistance to open a restaurant. If it works for you, lets schedule a call on Mondy, April 20th. Let me know what time is convenient for you and what number is best to reach you. I look forward to hearing about your business. If Monday does not work for you, just let me know what date would.



* * * * * *

Subject: Meeting for [Other Me’s Kid]

Good evening,
I wanted to touch base with you regarding setting up an IEP review for [Kid]. We need to review and update her plan before we meet with the middle school to discuss her IEP services for next year. The tentative date for the meeting with the middle school will be in late April. Are there days of the week or times of day that work best for you? Thanks for help.

Short Pump Elementary School
Exceptional Education Teacher

Thing One. Am I debased and gauche, or is that a weirdly lurid name for an elementary school?

Thing Two. Isn’t “exceptional” the sort of epithet you want, but you don’t really bestow upon yourself? Particularly not in your job title and sig file?

* * * * * *

From: Peter
Subject: Grandpa update

Hi Sarah —

I wanted to let you know what’s going on with Grandpa and Grandma.

I drove to Columbus, OH yesterday. Aunt Sheila had been with Grandpa and Grandma, but she had to go back to Connecticut on Tuesday. Grandpa was discharged yesterday, and I drove them home last night. Uncle Rog flew in last night so he could spend the next several days being with them and helping out.

Grandpa’s procedure was a success, as we talked about. He is extra tired and a little weaker than usual from being in the hospital. They discovered that his blood oxygen tends to be a little low, so he has to keep an oxygen tank nearby and have an oxygen line in his nose at all times. This is another of the several things he’s having to deal with.

The wound on his foot is now expected to heal over the next couple weeks. He will need to go back to Columbus for a follow-up appointment with the doctor there on February 19th. I’ll drive him to that.

I hope you’re feeling better, Sarah. I don’t know if you’ll have access to this in Washington but I wanted to keep you posted. We’re thinking of you and hope it’s a very enlightening time and a lot of fun.


* * * * * * *

From: michael
Subject: roommate

Hi Sarah,

I tried craigslist but it was too uneven and didn’t have any reputational information on the person. I then used a lot and haven’t had any problems.

You can create a log-in for yourself, and a page and describe the situation you are offering and the kind of person you’re looking for.

here’s the link I used for my place, but that was for a large house with lots of bedrooms for people short term weekends in the wine country, but it works for longer term also and when you find someone you can suspend your listing.
I started w weekenders, and now have suspended my listing because I’ve got a permanent renter for the upstairs.

When people apply you get to see a lot about them before inviting them. it keeps their reputation information from previous places.

hope that helps !


* * * * * *
This is from the same Michael. What kind of sessions?? I MUST KNOW!

From: michael
Subject: HBOT

Hi Sarah,

Regarding payment if you want to pay for a few sessions one at a time it’s $250

Let me know when you decide to proceed with a series, and I’ll email you the invoice and you can enter your card # at your end. For 20 it’s 4250


* * * * * *
From: John
Subject: 58 Marlow Road – For you information

Hi Sarah,

Thank you for your kind thoughts yesterday it was appreciated and sorry it’s taken me so long to sort this out for you.

Rental periods from the 2nd of each month commencing 02 March 2014.
As discussed, the above (£9’600.00) has already been settled by Simon.

Gas & Electric
I spoke with the supplier again this morning (07/10/14) to make sure that I had the correct figures for you and these are as follows;

Council Tax (annually is £1167.17 – council tax band C) £95.25/month

For the period to 08 October 2014 (7 months) = £680.75
If we were to transfer this account into your name we should be able to claim a 25% single person/occupant discount!
At present I have settled the council tax for the year but this shouldn’t prevent us from seeking the above mentioned discount, so lets me have your thoughts.

Simons previous gesture of settling rental amounts (shown above) in no way suggests that I was or am chasing you for any payments and was only accepted in good faith.

I’m not chasing or requesting any monies from you as I’ve settled the council and utilities accounts so don’t worry !!, we can discuss this another time.

If you wish to stay at the flat for any length of time that’s fine by me and perhaps we could then discuss a small reduction for ongoing rent.

I’ll be fitting a replacement WC shortly as it was cheaper to buy the whole thing rather than just replacing the cracked cistern… go figure?

Please let me know if you need anything at all. xx

Kind regards

* * * * * *

From: Giovanna
Subject: Hey DC


Got your message on LinkedIn. Glad to hear you are alive and well. How has the journey been?

I am indeed with a foot out of [redacted]. Tomorrow will go for half a day and then it’s pretty much done. I will have to eventually go to give handovers but nothing much more. I am at [redacted] now. Very stressing (and very far from the city).

– Def visit some museums at the Smithsonian. Go to the national gallery (west wing ia the modern, I believe). Also go to the Asian gallery (opposite side of the Mall). And any other that may interest you.
– If you are there on a Thursday night, hit the Phillips Collection. They have wine and jazz. Check the website first. This one is in Dupont Circle.
– While you are in Dupont, dine at a French restaurant called Bistro du Coin.
– Other Good places to eat are on 14th between Q and U streets.
In there there is one called Saint Ex…have brunch there.
– Don’t miss Georgetown and its waterfront. Good places to eat there as well.
– Try doing the monuments by night
Less.people and they are lit up

If you want you can visit the capitol
It’s just OK

How many days are you there for?


* * * * * * *

From: Sheila
Hey Bunko Babes,

I have not forgotten you. Bunko is [redacted]. Pinocchio’s is next to Bob Hart Square on Main St. Park in the back. I hope to see all of you! Please RSVP. Love you all! I am sorry for the delay. It took me 5 days and 3 phone calls to set this up. Sheila

* * * * * *

Several lovely photos that Vanessa took of a lovely Other Me (I liked this one best):


* * * * * *

From: Natalie
Subject: Ann-Marie’s Hen Weekend

Me again – technical difficulties last time!!
Hello ladies – thank you all for sending your email addresses through (I got some from AM too).
I am the one, with Julie who is copied, who will be trying to organise a weekend full of plenty of laughs, entertainment and of course food plus a few drinks or three…..
I have found a converted barn in Hertford, so not too far to travel, which AM is happy to call our place of residence for the hen weekend.
Firstly I need to understand numbers, so I can calculate the costs and plan the activities. The weekend that we are planning for the fun to take place is the first bank holiday in May 2015 – arriving on 2/5/15 and staying for two nights.The idea is that we would have one night out in the town of Hertford and one night eating in.
We have a few ideas up our sleeves but as you will notice AM is on this copy list – just so she knows I have got the ball rolling. I will send further emails without her on it to forge a proper plan :-).
Can you let me know by the end of the month, if you are able to commit to this date to join us, as we need to pay a deposit to secure the barn.
Thanks in advance and I look forward to partying with you……

Natalie took some convincing that I was not the Other Me going on Ann-Marie’s hen weekend. I had to promise her I wasn’t, and that they weren’t even called that where I was from. She is a very enthusiastic planner.

* * * * * *

From: Other Me
To: Herself, I presume?

left eye diverges more. I have Myopic Astigmatism which doctor would normally suggest eye therapy but I seem to be dealing with it. I also have convergence insuffecency – eyes not want to focus so tire after reading for a while. There is pregressive lense for distance & close if I’m interested. Got new glasses

* * * * * *

From: Rita
Subject: Philip Morgan

Dear Sarah,

We left a message on your voice mail yesterday (Sunday), asking if you could call us regarding the report you submitted via our website about your brother Philip, missing in Ipswich. We have some queries before we can determine how best we can help. It would be very helpful if you could give us some more information to the questions below.

1) You mentioned that you had spoken to an officer at Suffolk police. Have the police actually said they are treating the matter as a missing persons enquiry? You say the officer you spoke to would not give their name, but they should have given you a police reference, which may be prefixed with CAD/. If police have agreed to treat Philip’s disappearance as a missing persons enquiry, hopefully now you are aware of this with a police contact name and telephone number. We can only assist with publicity with police cases with their approval. If you are able to provide the contact details of the officer dealing with the matter, and/or a police reference, we will contact them to see if we can help with publicity.

2) To assist with publicity, we would need a colour photograph of Philip. We can ask police to send us a copy of one you may have provided to them, assuming this is the case.

We have provisionally opened a case with the reference 14-006860 and it would be helpful if you could quote this whenever you contact us.

This will clearly be a very distressing time for you and other members of the family and we are here to help and support you as best we can. But we do need the above information to help us determine how best we can help.

With kind regards,

(Services Team)

[Contact info redacted]

* * * * * *

From: Saige
Subject: Dessert Auction

Hello parents! As a part of our crab feed dinner, we will be having a dessert auction to increase the profits of the event and to give out some tasty desserts. To make this auction successful, as need your help to either create your own desserts or have them donated. We would like to have between 15-20 desserts to auction off. If you are able to make a dessert for the auction, please contact me with the type of dessert. Thank you!

Saige Pacheco
Merce FFA President
* * * * * *

From: Gmail
Subject: Your Gmail address, [email protected], has been created
Welcome to Gmail! You can login to your account at
Here are a couple of tips to help you get started:
Use Gmail’s import tools to move mail and contacts from your other email accounts to your new Gmail address.
Download the mobile app for Android or iPhone and iPad to stay connected on the go.
Should you ever encounter problems with your account or forget your password we will contact you at this address.
The Gmail Team
If you didn’t create this Gmail address and don’t recognize this email, please visit: to unlink this account.


* * * * * *

From: Caleb
To: Best Mom
Subject: Crazy

* * * * * *

From: Neil
To: Sarah
Subject: Malvern – Under 9 registration
Hi Sarah
I hope Luke enjoyed himself this morning, he seemed to get on well with the rest of the team.
Here are registration forms for rugby – it will be the club transfer section, that you need to fill in.
Please can you sign and return forms to Sarah Curtis to who is the club secretary. Sarah lives at 98 Pickersleigh Road, Malvern, WR142RT.
Let me know when you have dropped it off and I will follow up to ensure Luke has been registered.
In terms of kit, I think you were given a shirt by John earlier on today. This will be Luke’s shirt for the season.
If you have any questions, please feel free to ask

* * * * * *

From: Neil
To: All
Subject: Rugby Sunday 9th November

Hi All
We had 15 players available for today’s fixture with Worcester, including Luke who joined us for the first time today (welcome to the team Luke).
Due to the heavy rain over the last few days, all the pitches at Malvern were waterlogged, but thanks to John we were able to secure the use of Dyson Perrins 3G sports pitch.
Like ourselves Worcester had enough players for 2 teams, so after some training and a minutes silence for Remembrance Sunday, we moved onto the matches.
It was another excellent mornings rugby and across the 4 games, it’s great to report that we won 3 and lost 1, scoring 21 tries and conceding only 11.
Here are the match reports:
Team – Callum, Kevin, Jack C, Jack H, Lucca, Logan, Fern and Elliot
Won 4-2
Scorers – Callum 3 and Kevin 1
In this game against a fairly strong Worcester team, Callum and Kevin gave us a good start with solid tackling (Callum) and powerful driving (Kevin).
As the game went on, the other Malvern players became more involved by all contributing to a tight defence, with good use of the touchline to end any Worcester attacks.
Jack H got his hands on the ball and frequently broke the line. Lucca went very close in the corner a couple of times. Fern’s tackling and passing really helped with the team play, with Elliot and Logan also holding the defensive line well and not allowing people through as well as Jack C making a fine last ditch tackle to dislodge the ball from a Worcester player.
Although we won this game, we didn’t quite hit top form. There was a lot of bunching, too many forced passes and numerous instances of players running into touch when a teammate was on hand to receive a pass.
The highlights were Kevin’s battle cry as he charged into the Worcester ranks which made it great fun to watch, as well as Callum once again showing his finishing skills with 3 tries for the team.
Team: Jack C, Callum, Jack H, Elliot, Fern, Kevin, Lucca and Logan
Won 7-0
Scorers – Callum 4, Jack H 1, Jack C 1 and Lucca 1
This was a weaker Worcester team and Malvern employed a power game in turning them over very convincingly.
Again Callum, Kevin and both Jacks were up fast in the tackle and one highlight was Lucca driving a much bigger boy from Worcester back a good 15 meters on his own.
Fern made a good run though the middle of the Worcester defence and was nice enough to pass when she could probably have gone on to score. Elliot got his hands on the ball more and showed good pace in one attack, laying the ball back nicely for his team after a big hit and Logan in his first competitive match also ran well and was unlucky to be bundled into touch on a couple of occasions.
Again Malvern looked very comfortable and quite easily held Worcester out so all the players can be really pleased with themselves.

Team: Sam, Luke, Lucas, Charlie, Cai, Jacob and Ethan
Won 7-3
Scorers – Ethan 3, Lucas 2, Cai 1 and Luke 1
This was a really strong performance by the Malvern team, with all the players contributing towards a comfortable win.
As in previous weeks the defence was very solid once again, with lots of tackles being made by all the team, including the usual crunching tackles by Cai, Ethan and Lucas. However, what was more encouraging was the attacking play, with Jacob seemingly taking on the role of scrum half, the attacking line spread out, creating far more space and allowing more time for the players to make the pass.
There were lots of strong runs by Charlie, Cai and Ethan which led to a number of excellent tries.

The highlight though was the team try scored by Luke, in which Jacob started the move by passing to Sam, who when tackled passed the ball onto Lucas, who used his pace to outrun the Worcester defence and then before being tackled managing to off load the ball to Charlie who made an unbelievable catch and continued to run towards the corner before making a final pass to Luke who scored his first try in the Malvern colours – what a try….

Team: Sam, Luke, Lucas, Charlie, Cai, Jacob and Ethan
Lost 6-3
Scorers – Lucas 1, Charlie 1 and Ethan 1

After the excellent play in the first game, confidence was high, but this was a far tougher match against a much stronger Worcester team.

Worcester were soon into their stride scoring 2 quick tries, with the Malvern team missing a few tackles and although Charlie pulled a try back, Worcester scored a third try just before half time.

The second half was a lot better, with Jacob again leading the way and showing all the hallmarks of a future scrum half.

Lucas scored an early try when he raced through the Worcester defence and we nearly scored again following a string of runs by Sam, Luke and Charlie, before Ethan went over in the corner following another good team move.

With only a couple of minutes to go we thought we were going to get a draw, but despite the numerous tackles by Cai, Ethan and Jacob a couple of late tries by Worcester resulted in Worcester getting a deserved win.

Well played everyone, especially Logan and Luke who both played their first matches for Malvern.

Next Week

We are due to play Woodrush away next Sunday, usual time 10am to 12noon.

Looking at the directions it is just off J2 on the M42.

Here is the address:

Woodrush RFC
Icknield Street
B38 0EL

Parents Night Out

We are still planning to have a few drinks on Friday evening – 14th November. The plan is to meet in the Fowley/Weatherspoons (Great Malvern) at 8pm.

We hope to see you there.

John, Martin, Wayne and Neil

* * * * * *

From: Dick
Subject: IFT Board

Hi Sarah,
I hope your teaching year is going well.
This email is to inquire about your interest in serving on the IFT Board of Directors. We are initiating the second round of appointments.
If you are interested, please respond to this email with some good dates and times for phone calls from 3 IFT Board members.
Each call should last no more than 10-15 minutes and, hopefully, will be informal and conversational.
I know you are busy and I sincerely appreciate all that you do with the Institute for Teaching.

Manager/Program Director
CTA Institute for Teaching
(619) 683-3990
[email protected]

* * * * * *

From: George
Subject: MK Cracked Ice Project

Hi All
Please can I ask that you read through the email thread below and the possibility of being able to complete the council art project. This would be a great opportunity to add hours to work experience, I can see if one of the interns would like to lead on this.
Please can I have an answer by the end of Monday. Are you able to meet for an 8.30 -9.30 meeting on Tuesday to discuss this and the design house? I will send you a calendar invite.
I met with Rachel today and discussed it in more depth, first off, it doesn’t need to be chalk!
Apologies for that and secondly, the event is coming up quick so we may need to move fast.
The event is on 14th
The display will be placed at the entrance to the Intu shopping centre (Midsummer Shopping Centre, between Barclays bank and Pret). The artwork will be design to stop people in their tracks and take notice, the message needs to be winter themed, avoiding pot holes.
The 3D option (3D illusion) is still the most popular it could be created using a computer and then the Council will print it and install it on the day, ideas include iced glacier, cracked ice, ice sculptures, snowscape??
The space needs to cover a 6 metre square.
Rachel sent over the following images to check out:
I’ve listed some sample image numbers below for the winter safety PR activity.
The space that we have available for this is around 6m square so anything within that is fine.
Go to: Stock Photos, Royalty-Free Images and Vectors – Shutterstock
Numbers: 2503043, 26141074, 159194624, 60346879, 102186484
Rachel also mention the Honda advert that created clever images –
Feel free to call me to go over anything. I would image to leave enough time for printing we would need to be finished by 7th November, students would not need to be present.
November, is that going to be achievable?

* * * * * *

From: Sarah
To: Pamela (how did I get this??)
Subject: How about Christmas at the Beach?
Hi Pam,
We are currently recruiting for a CRNA that can start ASAP (pending credentialing) for 12 weeks in Southern FL.
$120/ hr all inclusive
Must be able to start in December
Cases include: General, Ortho, Nero, Peds, Thoracic, and Cardio
Must have FL license
Master’s Degree is required
Need to have been working in the last 6 months
Please let me know ASAP if you are available or know someone that could start immediately.
Best regards,
Placement Coordinator > Staffing Manager

* * * * * *

From: Neil
Re: District Sports After School Clubs

Good Morning All,

Thanks for attending a District Sports After School Club within the Worcestershire area. Hopefully your child is enjoying the benefits of an active session after school.

If you would like some information on our policies or information regarding our coaches, please visit our company website for details:


Occasionally I will email around with details of additional activities that are running throughout the year – we also run Holiday Sports Academies and Weekend Sports Roadshows for children. On our current timetable we have a ‘Football Academy’ lined up in October Half term – details attached.

If you are interested in what we are offering throughout the area, or are interested in finding out more about District Sports, please visit our social media links below.

Unofficially any parent that follows us on Twitter or Facebook can expect their child to get preferential treatment!!!! ( insert wink emoji )

Please ensure that your child has suitable warm weather kit for the cold nights ahead – and if your child walks home on the dark nights please ensure that the correct consent has been filed with the school office.

Happy Fitness!

Why Encourage Sport?
All parents are hoping that their children grow up in a fit and healthy manner. Whether you are hoping to produce the next opening batter for England, a future gold medalist for team GB in the Olympics, or merely wanting your child to pursue a sporting lifestyle, we can help set them off on the right foot.

Obesity in children is at an all time high in the UK, and it is vital that we all work together to fight the first stages of this. We encourage children to enjoy the feeling of exercise, to push them selves and to understand the benefits of a fit and healthy lifestyle. By putting you child into any of our schemes, we can guarantee that they are enjoying a safe, exercise filled session of sport.

Some of the sad facts:

10% of children are obese when they start school
20% of children are obese by the time they reach year 6
Compulsory PE in primary schools is being lowered
Funding for schools sports Partnership abolished (SSP)
60% drop off in organized sport at school
30.3% of children aged (2-15) are overweight or obese
1 in 4 Children at School are not taking part in organized sport
Among 5 to 16-year-olds, 12% are inactive, rising to 58 per cent among 16 to 19-year-olds.
A significant amount of a child’s life is now spent playing video games and sitting in front of the television.
Type 2 diabetes is significantly rising, and a contributing factor is a sedentary lifestyle without exercise
If you needed any additional reasons to encourage you child to participate in sport, here are some positive factors:

Research has found that children that play sports, especially girls, are more likely to have a positive body image and higher self-esteem.
Physical activities are a good way to relieve stress and reduce depression
Sports help children develop discipline. They learn to set goals and then work to achieve those goals
Statistics show that children who are involved in sports while in high school are more likely to experience academic success
Sports help develop teamwork and leadership skills. Children quickly learn that they have to work together as a team to win the game.
Motor skills, strategic thinking, and even math skills are learned by playing sports. Students develop strategic thinking as they figure out the best way to get around a player or score a goal.
Regular exercise increases quality of life. Children who exercise are more likely to continue the practice into adulthood.
Just in case you needed a few more:

Reduced risk of obesity
Increased cardiovascular fitness
Healthy growth of bones, muscles, ligaments and tendons
Improved coordination and balance
A greater ability to physically relax and, therefore, avoid the complications of chronic muscular tension (such as headache or back ache)
Improved sleep
Mental health benefits, such as greater confidence
Improved social skills
Improved personal skills, including cooperation and leadership.


* * * * * *

From: Charles
To: Sarah
sarah and bj — mom and I are going to this cabaret nite, a fund raiser for the church, on sat, 11/1. it’s a bit of a stretch, but would either of you (yourselves or with spouses) with your performing backgrounds have any interest in going? it could be fun or awful. let us know. dad

From: Gary
Dear members and friends of Cranford First Pres:
On Saturday, November 1, Cranford First Presbyterian Church will sponsor a Cabaret Night, and we need your support to make it a success. Please consider purchasing tickets and attending. Encourage your friends and neighbors to do likewise. Tickets are $25, a very modest cost for an evening of professional entertainment.
We will transform Bates Hall into a cabaret for the performance. It would be a huge help if you could, together with your friends, sponsor and reserve a table. I’ve included a schematic of the layout as well as an information sheet of talking points.
This is the biggest fundraiser we have attempted in years, and we are asking your help in making this the success we know it can be. Please contact me at 908-272-8299 with any questions you may have. And to purchase tickets!
Thank you and God bless
Gary Thorn and the fundraising team

* * * * * *

Hi Sarah Morgan,
You’re on the list for Cathedrals, Hoodlem, Hasley + Alex Light & The Sugar Cubes.
Please note that RSVPs do not include a +1, so be sure to pass the event page along to your friends ->
And please note that RSVPs do not guarantee entry. Admission is subject to venue capacity and is first-come, first-served.
Thanks for using doNYC, happy CMJ, and we’ll see you at the show!
By RSVPing to this event, you also registered for doNYC. To log into the site for more opportunities to RSVP, enter Giveaways, and discover all the awesomeness there is to do in NYC, use this info:
Password: [REDACTED]

* * * * * *

From: Kasandra
To: All
Re: Katie
Hello Ms. Smith,
I wanted to let you know I have secured a math tutor for Katie who I have cc’d on this email. If you could please correspond with her to let her know what Katie should be working on to become efficient in your class and to make up an assignments, that would be great. Their first meeting is tomorrow at 3:30pm
Thank you,

Get Katie’s mom an email tutor too please.


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