You Write the Title VI: The Speed Round
I’ll be honest: My responses to You Write the Title VI have been languishing on the back burner. But then I saw BuzzFeed blatantly copy me with #BRL (BuzzFeed Request Live). And that’s just not cool. Clearly I had to get around to things.
And now I’ll be extra-super honest: My responses were languishing because I just really wasn’t feeling some of the prompts. So I’m changing the rules. Because, frankly, it’s my game, and I can do whatever I want.
So without further ado: YWTT VI: The Speed Round. Five paragraphs, two lists, four haikus. Nothing related to anything. I pulled some prompts, you get some randomness. Think of it as a holiday grab bag.
The Strangest Dream I’ve Ever Had. I almost always forget my dreams, but I remember the first nightmare I ever had. I was about seven and dreamed that a squad of commando-style soldiers had to infiltrate where I lived at the time. I have no idea where it came from or why it frightened me so much. Usually, my dreams are there when I wake but I’ll feel the details sluicing away, and within the first few minutes of being up, they’re gone.
If You Were Running From the Cops for a Crime You Didn’t Commit, Where Would You Go?
I’ve actually given this sort of thing a great deal of thought. I know who I’d call, what I’d need, and where I’d go. And that’s all I’ll tell you.
Dust Bunnies. You get many more dust bunnies when you have wood floors than when you have carpet. That’s one of the many reasons I prefer hardwood. It’s easier to see the mess and faster to clean it. I like my problems recognizable and get-to-work-on-able.
Why Benedict Cumberbatch Is Better Than Michael Fassbender.
I know Michael Fassbender played baby Ian McKellan in a couple of X-Men movies. He seems delightful – I mean, tell me this isn’t a joy. He has a lovely accent, and I very much like the way the corners of his eyes crinkle when he smiles. (I have a thing for smile lines.) That’s not a lot to know, so I feel unqualified to say how he compares to anyone. I instead argue that the world is wide enough for all of the endearing thespians Her Majesty cares to export.
The Importance of Being Sarah. Isn’t that the driving force behind everyone’s life – to feel important, to feel we’ve mattered? What that means is different from person to person, though. It might mean changing one life or a great many. It might mean power or fame or influence or love. I doubt my definition is yours. In any case, I pretty much always feel I’m falling short. I have friends who treat me as if I’m not, though, and that helps.
I wonder whether, when you haven’t created a family of your own, you move through the world differently. That wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing – that independence can enable deeply wonderful moments, connections, and opportunities. But I wonder if it makes a person question their place in the world more than otherwise.
Important? I try to be. That’s about the best I can say.
What I’ve Learned About Cooking.
- Cooking in bulk isn’t lazy, it’s smart.
- Pay attention to recipe pictures and comments, and to Mark Bittman’s How to Cook Everything.
- Don’t make what you think you ought to like; make what you actually like.
- Flavor is important but sometimes plain is best.
- Measuring isn’t as important as you think.
- Be even more patient than you think you’re going to have to be.
- Notice when your list of cooking tips morphs into life tips halfway through.
Time Freezes for Everyone But You: What Do You Do?
- Boring answer: Catch up on work.
- Fun answer: Mess with people: rearrange stuff, leave anonymous notes.
- Honest answer: Probably snoop a tiny bit. Let’s be real.
If Tissue Boxes Had Wings.
If tissue boxes
Had wings then they would
Be like maxi pad cubes.
Suddenly, There’s Vancouver!
To name a rock band
Is now a life goal.
I’d Throw a Brick Through It.
I wish fears were glass
And could just be shattered with
A well-placed curve ball.
Never could decide
On one to stay with always.
Not just talking tats.