APADIA 3: In Which I Can’t Get No
Satisfaction is a weird feeling, isn’t it? When you think about it, it’s so elusive. And so fleeting.
The other day, I had (what I realized, in hindsight, was) an extremely productive day. I got a great deal successfully accomplished, personally and professionally, creatively and practically. I should have been over the moon, yet I realized at the end of the day that I was kind of… fine about it.
But when I have a day – very often – in which I fall even a bit short of my expectations, I am SO dissatisfied with myself.
If you envision it on a scale: why is it that my “up”s are maybe a +1 or a +2, whereas my “down”s are more like a -5 or a -10? It’s a damaging way to think. I’m working on it.